The moment I buy my fake Facebook girlfriend, she leaves a post on my wall. It reads: "I just remembered that thing you said… hiarious. lol ;)" Great. Now everyone thinks I've fallen for a woman who can't spell and says "lol" a lot. This is a disaster. My reputation might take years to recover. What if she misuses an apostrophe in her next post? Or has ever said the word "nom" out loud? I'll be ruined.
Worse still, my girlfriend – my actual, real-life, flesh-and-blood girlfriend with whom I live – isn't a fan of my new fake girlfriend at all. Whenever my Facebook girlfriend posts anything, my real-life girlfriend narrows her eyes and reads it back to me in a withering voice. Yesterday, while I was looking up a recipe on my phone, she yelled, "Are you texting your new girlfriend? You are, aren't you?" and then fell silent for three-quarters of an hour. This whole situation was a mistake.
Why did I buy a fake Facebook girlfriend? Curiosity, mainly. Name me one red-blooded man who wouldn't want to validate his neediness by paying a stranger of undetermined gender to send him hollow, misspelt platitudes on the internet. You can't, can you?"
- Fake Facebook girlfriends: what's not to like? | Technology | The Guardian, via Jo M.
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